Month: September 2020

Month: September 2020

Category : Uncategorized

You might be surprised to read a title like this, after all I like to encourage people to see things in a positive light and focus on the good things rather than the bad. So why don’t I want you to say “It could have been worse”?

Imagine the scene, you’re on the ground after falling off your horse. A quick check of yourself and you realise that you’re OK. You might be a bit sore and you might have got a bit of a fright. Your pride might be damaged and you might be disappointed but all in all you and your horse are fine.

What do you do next? Dust yourself down and get back on or perhaps take it easy for a few days until the bruises heal? It’s up to you and depends on the situation you find yourself in at the time.

Then what frequently happens is that you start to talk to your friends about what happened to you and then it starts ……..

“OMG guess what happened to me today. I had such a lucky escape! It could have been SO MUCH WORSE” “If, I had been just a little bit closer to X then Y would have happened”. “If I’d been a couple of minutes sooner/later then XXXX would have happened”

What’s the result of this “It could have been worse attitude”?

What tends to happen is that your over active imagination starts to frighten you with all of those possibilities which you’re now thinking about. So the minor fall or incident grows arms and legs and there is a tendency to turn it into a potential disaster movie! It turns into a mental catastrophe!!

Instead, my advice is that, after an incident or fall, you talk it through with a friend or a coach to analyse what happened and why. Was there anything you could have done differently to prevent the accident? What can you learn from it to hopefully avoid it happening again? Then don’t talk about it any more, it’s finished and over and has no power over your future as long as you do learn from mistakes.

By dropping the “OMG it could have been so much worse” you’re giving yourself the best possible chance to move on from the incident and leave it in the past where it belongs.

If you’ve had an accident that you’re struggling to get over then don’t suffer in silence. Feel free to contact me for some help and advice so that you can move on from past occurrences.


Month: September 2020

Do you ever find yourself getting pretty nervous about trying new things?

Does your mind take you to some scary and uninviting places when you’re anticipating this new event?

Try these before, during and after mindset hacks and they really will make a difference to how you feel about the up and coming event and how much you enjoy yourself.

These ideas can be applied to horse riding, other sports, work or any other area of life.

So, last weekend, a couple of my oldest pals and I went on a two day kayaking course up on the west coast of Scotland. It was a beginner’s introduction course and there were going to be six in the group, the three of us and three others who we didn’t know.

Practicing in shallow water

I was certainly looking forward to the weekend but I must admit I was feeling a little bit nervous too. Those old familiar thoughts were creeping into my mind such as “Will they all be better at it than me?” ,”Will I fall in”, “Will I look stupid” etc etc. I’m sure many of you reading this will have experienced similar thoughts. It was these thoughts which were causing that sense of nervous anticipation!

SO! I quickly reminded myself to practice what I preach and to apply all the things I talk about with my clients and that’s just what I did and the result was that I had an amazing weekend!

BEFORE:

  • As soon as you recognise those unhelpful thoughts creeping into your mind you can say “STOP” to yourself to break that chain of thought and then challenge those unhelpful thoughts and replace them with something more encouraging and supportive.
  • Remind yourself that any feelings of nerves are simply feelings and NOT a predictor of something bad happening.
  • Practice visualising what you DO want to happen. So for my kayak course I visualised myself gliding through the water with a big smile on my face and enjoying the company of my friends and the amazing environment I was in.

DURING

  • Remind yourself that you are there to learn. Ask questions and enjoy trying out new skills. Have a laugh when you make a silly rookie error, we’ve all done it and it’s part of being a beginner in any new activity.
  • If you feel any physical tension use your breathing to help you to let go of that tension. So you can breathe in comfort and breathe out tension. Remembering to breathe helps to keep your stress hormones within their normal range and therefore lessens any feelings of nervousness. It can help to anchor feelings of comfort to a word. I like to use the word “drift”.
  • Focus on what’s going on “in the moment”. If at any moment in time your kayak (Or your horse!) is doing what you’ve asked it to do then all is OK. This is a useful way to avoid trying to predict what could happen in the future.
  • If you’re in a learning situation make sure to be honest with the instructor about your previous experience or lack of experience. Their job is to be supportive and to teach you new skills so allow them to do their job.
  • Make sure that you’re not comparing yourself unfavourably to those around you. Some people will find some things easier than you but they’ll also find other things more challenging. Everyone is different and there to learn as well.

AFTER

  • Be proud of yourself for what you have achieved and make sure to focus on all the good things which happened rather than being tempted to magnify any errors.
  • Think about what you have learned so that next time you do this activity you will be ready to take the next steps in the process of learning.
  • Enjoy the sense of achievement, the physical tiredness after working hard and look forward to an evening reminiscing about your day and feeling excited about doing it again.

My kayaking weekend was great fun. I didn’t fall in, kept up with the group, learned about a few different paddle strokes, when and how to use them. I saw some wonderful wildlife and views which will stay with me forever. I was really proud of myself when we had to work pretty hard into a strong headwind to reach the beach where we were planning our lunch stop, I was slow and it was hard work but I did it! It was definitely a weekend to remember.

The sun setting after a wonderful weekend.